Just back from a trip to Mudumalai forests and Ooty. I have nothing funny to say. If you are looking for fun you may go look elsewhere( pretty much the same thing you did the last time you found yourself on this blog).
[Secret- I hope to become a instant hit with you by starting with a disclaimer about this blog being humorless and then going on to make it funny- wish me luck. Trick tried- Underpromise and over deliver. Wish me luck again.]
I will just list out some combination of words or some such thing. That should help you know how the trip was.
Planned- Bangalore to Mudumalai forests. Via Mysore. 3 men and 3 women and 1 man ( about whom I am going to tell you later)
Planned-Early morning start. Actual-Near afternoon execution. Men and women in the car. Some talk about how planned early morning starts never work out. Mundane statements did a round.
Cool car. Friendly driver.Expensive fuel.
Panicky girls-For they were told the trip was going to be just relaxing rather than action-filled.
[Midblog Guess- Would they have fretted about too much action had the trip been loaded?]
Adage- Men are from Mauritius and women are from Vietnam.
Relief- Panic cleared after men promised some action. [ Men are masters at art of promising. If I can push a problem till I die I don't need a solution.]
Plan- The One man i had promised to tell you about was to be picked up in Mysore whose house we would have breakfast in.
Actual- Ate breakfast midway despite having full knowledge of friend's folks' reputation for hospitality. Ate neat and tight.
Hunger dares people.
Unanimous decision- Keep the thing from the friend. Just don't tell him.
Men demand justice @ petty shop- One beside the hotel. Men bought smoke and other petty things. Petty owner demands some price over and above MRP. Men question. Despite the exchange words between men and the petty owner MRP wasn't restored. Men back out feeling rather satisfied that they stood by what was right. MRP or otherwise.
A general thought- Men always want to be doing the right things ( until they are caught by traffic cops. Sir 50 rupees I have. Adjust maadi).
Scene- The dining Table @ friend's.
Apprehensive men and women assume positions before the table. An unprepared army in the battle. Everyone could manage a couple of idlis though coz the food tasted great. But you don't buy a car even if it is a Ferrari, if you can't park it anywhere. Right? ( Now don't you bloody try and think how you can prove my point wrong. Just read on damn it) Friend's granny went around the table and ensured she hit final idlis in the coffin. She was one of the smartest grannies i have seen. Had she been a year younger I would have asked her out I think. And I am sure I am one of the smartest men she has seen in many decades.( what else could explain that she served me more idlis than other men?)
Big bellies took to the road again. A couple and a half hours of journey to the forest-resort. Music was limited hence oft-repeated. Jokes doing the rounds took profanity and perversion to a new high. One would think women were thoroughly embarrassed. But No. They were thoroughly embarrased. (Gotcha! i am trying a new figure of speech- I call it ' obviousli'. Ala simili. Applause)
It was overcast and romantic. I thought of None. I would have enjoyed it more if None had been with me. None can get this line. It's for None.
Finally we got to the resort. A charming old man that owned the place and a middle-aged resort-keeper later we entered the cottages.
The next day we paid 2000 rupees to learn that there is no wildlife in the nearby sanctuary( But indeed it was a good ride in the bushy forest.) and explored Ooty. I wish I could put the romantic climate in words. And I do. Overcast, breezy, drizzly and green. Down on the ground, many pockets of the town were very filthy though. In ooty, only look up ( the sky never failed to pep me up). Never down.( Unless you have stepped out of the vehicle in which case you only look down never up). A boatride in the lake is truly memorable. But see if you can put other men or women to peddle as you sit back and relax. In my case it showered a little making it very pleasant.
Headed back this morning. My friend almost fell for the old man's charm at the resort. We started our car and got him in before he plucked the flowers from the bush next to him and went down on his knees to the old man.
Overall, it was a great trip.
[Secret- I hope to become a instant hit with you by starting with a disclaimer about this blog being humorless and then going on to make it funny- wish me luck. Trick tried- Underpromise and over deliver. Wish me luck again.]
I will just list out some combination of words or some such thing. That should help you know how the trip was.
Planned- Bangalore to Mudumalai forests. Via Mysore. 3 men and 3 women and 1 man ( about whom I am going to tell you later)
Planned-Early morning start. Actual-Near afternoon execution. Men and women in the car. Some talk about how planned early morning starts never work out. Mundane statements did a round.
Cool car. Friendly driver.Expensive fuel.
Panicky girls-For they were told the trip was going to be just relaxing rather than action-filled.
[Midblog Guess- Would they have fretted about too much action had the trip been loaded?]
Adage- Men are from Mauritius and women are from Vietnam.
Relief- Panic cleared after men promised some action. [ Men are masters at art of promising. If I can push a problem till I die I don't need a solution.]
Plan- The One man i had promised to tell you about was to be picked up in Mysore whose house we would have breakfast in.
Actual- Ate breakfast midway despite having full knowledge of friend's folks' reputation for hospitality. Ate neat and tight.
Hunger dares people.
Unanimous decision- Keep the thing from the friend. Just don't tell him.
Men demand justice @ petty shop- One beside the hotel. Men bought smoke and other petty things. Petty owner demands some price over and above MRP. Men question. Despite the exchange words between men and the petty owner MRP wasn't restored. Men back out feeling rather satisfied that they stood by what was right. MRP or otherwise.
A general thought- Men always want to be doing the right things ( until they are caught by traffic cops. Sir 50 rupees I have. Adjust maadi).
Scene- The dining Table @ friend's.
Apprehensive men and women assume positions before the table. An unprepared army in the battle. Everyone could manage a couple of idlis though coz the food tasted great. But you don't buy a car even if it is a Ferrari, if you can't park it anywhere. Right? ( Now don't you bloody try and think how you can prove my point wrong. Just read on damn it) Friend's granny went around the table and ensured she hit final idlis in the coffin. She was one of the smartest grannies i have seen. Had she been a year younger I would have asked her out I think. And I am sure I am one of the smartest men she has seen in many decades.( what else could explain that she served me more idlis than other men?)
Big bellies took to the road again. A couple and a half hours of journey to the forest-resort. Music was limited hence oft-repeated. Jokes doing the rounds took profanity and perversion to a new high. One would think women were thoroughly embarrassed. But No. They were thoroughly embarrased. (Gotcha! i am trying a new figure of speech- I call it ' obviousli'. Ala simili. Applause)
It was overcast and romantic. I thought of None. I would have enjoyed it more if None had been with me. None can get this line. It's for None.
Finally we got to the resort. A charming old man that owned the place and a middle-aged resort-keeper later we entered the cottages.
The next day we paid 2000 rupees to learn that there is no wildlife in the nearby sanctuary( But indeed it was a good ride in the bushy forest.) and explored Ooty. I wish I could put the romantic climate in words. And I do. Overcast, breezy, drizzly and green. Down on the ground, many pockets of the town were very filthy though. In ooty, only look up ( the sky never failed to pep me up). Never down.( Unless you have stepped out of the vehicle in which case you only look down never up). A boatride in the lake is truly memorable. But see if you can put other men or women to peddle as you sit back and relax. In my case it showered a little making it very pleasant.
Headed back this morning. My friend almost fell for the old man's charm at the resort. We started our car and got him in before he plucked the flowers from the bush next to him and went down on his knees to the old man.
Overall, it was a great trip.
